Left right…Right left,,, both sides are deviating to the wrong path

I am not good with certain topics and this current wave of sexual harassment and assault is throwing me a curve. Even when I was young I was somewhat of a prude, or at least naïve. Yet, here we are falling apart at the seams as a society.

Heck I do not even know the exact definition of harassment or assault. I know you can look these up on Webster’s or the local statutes for the criminality. What are people calling each though?

I am 100% that we should respect every human being at every turn so there is no excuse for any behavior that disrespects another.  Yet how are we defining these assaults?  The news is very ambiguous. And, I really didn’t want to write about this topic. I see it as a symptom of a much bigger problem we have as a society. We lost our moral compass. Throughout history men have pretty much abused women in some shape form or fashion, yet over the last few centuries we slowly built up the thought process that women are more than property. The direction of mankind was on an upward trajectory. It was still pervasive, yet up until the 50’s or 60’s a sense of responsibility towards how we approached women was growing. It seems our leaders still view their positions of power has a tool to obtain more than what is rightfully theirs. And the topic is abuse of women; the reality is the total collapse of respect for others that they feel are inferior to them.

Take the infamous Supreme Court decision of the 1970’s where the Court ruled materials were obscene if they appealed to a prurient interest, showed patently offensive sexual conduct, specifically defined by a state obscenity law and lacked serious artistic, literary, artistic, political, or scientific value.  The Court was trying to still protect first amendment rights and simultaneously give communities a guideline to prosecute people for disseminating pornography. This was never an easy task. And left many people holding the bag because what has artistic or scientific value? What does it mean a “prurient interest”? Who is the Judge of these thoughts?

You can argue all day about what is protected by the first amendment. You must be more forth coming about what is assault. Why? Because now you are charging an individual with a crime and most rightfully so. The problem is prosecuting a crime needs to be tried in front of a jury and the burden of proof is on the criminal justice system which is arguing for the victim. And in most cases sexual assault only has two witnesses; the victim and the perpetrator. This makes prosecution very difficult. It does not mean there wasn’t a crime committed. It just means obtaining a guilty verdict and punishment are very difficult to achieve.

The alternative has become lawsuits. And while this can create a secondary justice for the victim it also allows others to cheapen real victims by calling them a money grubber or worse.  We still blame the victim in our society and the more money is involved the more we side with the person charged. Why? I do not know. And there are a few people that do milk the system to achieve monetary awards they may or may not realistically own. All this plays to the perpetrators and doesn’t help true victims.

And women historically treated lessor still resonates in our society. I mentioned it was slowly dying off, but all these current allegations suggest maybe it wasn’t. We were not as advanced as a society as thought. I think different. I work, socialize, engage in other projects with many people I am comfortable. And this comfort level comes from certain levels of trust. Are they all perfect? No and neither am I. And one or two probably has disrespected a woman to some extent in their life. They would not brag about this or employ a disrespectful attitude though on a daily or regular basis. They consciously understand what is right and what is wrong.

When our leaders are consistently shown to behave this way though it shows a deep-rooted problem that still exists and teaches young people the wrong lesson. That is why in my opinion we need to have strong definitions of assault and harassment and strong legal definitions of both. We cannot use the vague “I know it when I see it” test that was stated in a 1964 court ruling before the above ruling for pornography.  Sexual assault is a crime, not an opinion.

We need to support victims yes weed out the few grifters, but support the victims. We need to be able to put the perpetrators in jail. Society needs to send a strong message that this is not the behavior we want to emulate, project, accept, or teach. Young people need to see consequences apply to all. And of course, this is more than just the sexual assaults, our leaders must be held to a higher standard. When we fail to do this, we are failing ourselves and future generations.

We cannot blame others, neither the Republicans nor the Democrats can or should take a higher ground. Leadership is not moralizing. It is defining the path, forging it, and giving it to the people to expand their own lives on a solid foundation. Respect for others is the first step to building a great society and country. 

Who made America Great?

A quick thought before I start. Everyone knows the phrase: give them an inch and they will take a mile. The origination of this phrase goes all the way back to the caveman era. It started when the first cave husbands where asked by the cave wives to stay home one Saturday to perform one task around the cave. He agreed thinking it was okay to miss whatever version of caveman golf existed at the time for one Saturday. So, he agrees to the one task around the cave and half way through the cave wife starts adding to the list and before he knows it he has spent the entire day in the cave. He grunts out the cavemen noises for inches and miles and hence we have the saying.

Who made American great? The irony is that the answer is included in the infamous post 2012 election results for the Republicans. Remember they put together a review of how they failed and were going to implement it going forward. Like everything else worthwhile politicians soon forget what they promised.

Our history is filled with monumental greatness and almost simultaneously horrific deeds. One day we will learn to separate the two and take giant leaps forward for civilization. For now, though it helps to remember who made the great part of America.

It even starts from the very beginning. The Pilgrims came here for religious freedom, suffered, made new friends and ended up creating what we now know as Thanksgiving. They were immigrants coming for something they didn’t have and eventually built something they felt was better for themselves.

And from that start America grew. This growth was constantly fueled by immigration. These same immigrants then their descendants became everyone from entrepreneurs to laborers to professionals to artists that built this country. And we could not be where we are today, nor have the potential to be even greater without the diverse group of people who came here to build a better life.

There were also the immigrants of the 1800’s such as the Irish, Eastern Europeans, and Asians on the West Coast. Each of these groups suffered some abuse and eventually through their communities survived then thrived. And each of the immigrant groups built businesses, usually family businesses, some became large corporations through the work of the family, others the descendants became Doctors or Professors because they were given a value system not just of hard work, also of self-worth.

Also throughout our history is one group of people exploiting other groups to achieve great wealth and power. The next step then becomes the exploited group rising and establishing their identity and working within and sometimes outside of the system. Sometimes the exploited group had help, sometimes they did it on their own. The most obvious examples are the abolishment of slavery due to the Civil War: the late 1800s when workers started their riots for better working conditions; and most recently the Civil Rights movement. After each event there was improvement in the quality of life.

After people immigrated they assimilated in some ways and in other ways they kept their original culture hence the little Italys; China towns; and other ethnic areas dedicated to shops, restaurants, entertainment from the original native land. America became this infamous melting pot we read about in history books. And this melting pot built us into the zenith of the American dream.

For generations we have watched each group of immigrants add to the power, the diversity, to businesses, to culture, to art, to education and to our greatness.

And now we elect a President who wants to make us great again. And in doing so, we are failing ourselves by doing the exact opposite of what made us great. All these groups had desire, drive, ambition, etc.. they wanted a better life for themselves and for their children. Now a select group of Americans think they are somehow better. One group is the infamous one percenters, people who feel they are better than others due to their wealth. We have seen this before in the late 1800s and the 1920s. The other group is the people who feel their world is faltering and they need someone to blame. They feel superior in their blame. This is the same group that once they assimilated into our country blamed the next group of immigrants for their problems. And each time we overcame their controls and fears, we became better as a country.

The good news is you probably knew this before you read this post. Our history is well documented. Our greatness is because we recognized what all who have come before having done and then contributed our self. So, to continue to be great we need to overcome these two groups and replace the class society and the fear with what our ancestors brought forth to this country. A desire for something better.

Who made America great? It was you and I and our forefathers, our ancestors, the person that arrived one day and dreamed of a better life and then built that life. It was not the entitled, the feudal rich, hate mongers, the ignorant, the bigots etc… They may control the conversation in the government right now, yet they do not control the destiny. The destiny of our greatness lays in our own hands.

Happy Thanksgiving all

On a side note:

Back to the first paragraph about the Republicans; they were to become more inclusive. They completely forget most Americans of all races, creeds, colors are more conservative than liberal. The Republicans had an opportunity to become inclusive and if they put the middle class first would have taken this country to new heights, instead we have sunk to new lows. And you wonder why I say we need new parties to represent us.

Quick comments………and let’s get this story done

Everyone has heard this a hundred times, yet in today’s world it is paramount you heed this advice. When you are in public, behave like you are in public. Remember there are cameras everywhere and everyone wants that YouTube success video. You do not need to be plastered all over the internet behaving in such a way that the most common comment is: “get a room” or “you know they aren’t married” Please, no one really wants to see your two backends bouncing on a chair built for ½ a person. And being so drunk you cannot even sit up straight is no excuse.

Love your family, talk to them, forgive them, whatever is needed. Live is too short to die angry. And in my work world I see examples of this way too often. Yes, I know you can choose your friends, but you can’t choose your family, but do not make that your life. They will disappoint you sometimes and you can be angry. Just don’t carry it to the grave.

Right now, I still love my Mavs, yet sheesh, some consistency of play would be nice. And who knows what is going on in Nerlens Noel’s head.

And here is the conclusion of my latest story:

For about a year the world was at war. No one really cared what started it, yet every regional conflict you could imagine had blown up. Right now, no one had used nuclear weapons, but stories were coming out of biological and other chemical weapons being used.. Slowly rational heads came together. Most of Europe was only mildly affected other than heavy fighting in the Ukraine. Russia wasn’t winning so they were able to agree to a cease fire. They needed one. They were fighting in Georgia and other territories throughout their mid Southern border. China really didn’t want this war because it interfered with their economic growth plans. They did not want a multiple front war and yet were fighting three. They almost attempted an attack on Taiwan or the Republic of China, however, they were flanked by Japan and South Korea and the war with North Korea. They kept a large army on the border to prevent it spilling into their country. Also, they had a large insurgency in Tibet fighting them. Africa was a hotbed of all sorts of fighting. Luckily South America and Australia managed to be free of attacks and only sent some troops as allies of one side or another throughout the world

And the Middle East was just a disaster from Turkey to the Kurds to Afghanistan and Pakistan to India. Fighting existed throughout the region. Country against country, terrorist state against country or another terrorist state. No one knew where the lines were at any given moment, nor if they could trust any other group as an ally. Sides changed quickly. Israel took on many factions, yet even those seemed to change weekly depending on what was going on amongst the other countries in the region. The world grew weary fast, but it would still take time to sort out peace. Hatred is much more powerful than even greed.

Well, there was one person who cared who started the war. Jill had determined most of the facts that triggered the lead up to the President starting the war with the troops he sent to Saudi Arabia that ignited the fight between Iran and Saudi Arabia. She knew most to just about all the players.

She knew some of the why and there was one person she still wanted to know. She didn’t know for sure 100% who shot Congressman Greg. Greg was the center point, and this is what she knew.

Congress was at a standstill. The President had been on a war footing for his whole term. He wanted to prove he was a great leader and winning a war was the way in his head. Problem was no one wanted war, no one in Congress, not even his generals, much less another country. So, when Saudi Arabia made their threat, he in his own thoughts, didn’t see him being pressured into a bad decision, he saw it as an opportunity. His party had a slim majority in Congress and they wanted to appease him to get their agenda passed, yet war was not an option. Congress finally declared war on a few countries two months after the fighting began, just because they were backed into a corner. The military sales to Saudi Arabia barely passed. And Greg couldn’t vote.

In fact, if the Persian who was the Russian agent, had contacted Greg and gotten some assurances from him that he would vote against arm sales to Saudi Arabia he could have taken that back to Iran even as a Russian agent and been able to assure the Revolutionary council that Saudi would not get what it wanted, he would have been able to persuade the government to ignore Arabian bluster. The world would still be a tinder box, yet no matches would have been lit. Paul’s superiors would have been able to talk the President back from the ledge once again and convinced him they would get him re elected for a second term and a larger majority in Congress, so he could do what he wanted. Paul’s superiors knew all along it would be what they wanted which as always was to control world markets with oil. They were still working to control Russian flow of oil to manage their efforts when the war started.

Jill pieced this puzzle together. She knew the personalities of all the American players and their agendas. She knew Greg always voted in best interests of the country. She dealt deeper into the Russian agent’s past and determined he was up to something in Iran. She didn’t know the underground Persian group, yet she made some determinations there was turmoil brewing. She traced the American agent killed and had an idea of his efforts and his contacts in Iran which crossed the Russian agents contacts. She knew the Colonel that killed the Iranian Father of the small boy. She did not know the grooming of the small boy to be a leader of the Persian movement had begun. His anger as a child was their psychological weapon.  The war weakened Saudi Arabia and they knew it. Persia would regain prominence in the world. Russia knew Saudi was weakened and was making plans. And the Americans were scrambling to maintain control with a weakened Saudi Arabia. The House of Saud suffered great losses militarily and internally. They never lost the war. It ended in a stalemate, yet they were diminished. Much had changed all over the world, but the smallest human frailties in life still are the most important.

Paul’s superiors wanted Greg dead. They knew he would always vote against them. They also knew Paul and his crew missed and there was still much of the investigation going on. They were covering their tracks as best they could. The SUV being found didn’t help. A special election in advance of the general election to get their man elected was the plan.

Jill discovered, followed, pieced together much of the story, yet not all, but the one piece she wanted desperately to know was being told to Sheriff Daniel. Greg was recuperating, yet he would never know one iota of his being shot changed the world. And even Sheriff Daniel would never tell Greg what he was told. If only the Russian agent of Persian descent had caught up to Greg things would be different. Jill even knew that. She knew Sandra had finally dropped Greg or so Sandra thought. Greg had been called away from her as part of the cleaning up Paul’s superiors directed. Jill knew they called him off. Congressman Greg and Sandra would continue as husband and wife and Greg would never be the wiser. Sandra was honestly happy Greg survived and would heal. She buried the past.

Jill didn’t know how crazy the truth.

The hunter and longtime friend of Daniel, Greg, Samuel and everyone else in the community who found Greg in the woods was talking about it with the Sheriff in his office. He had always been one of those guys who knew everyone, was well liked, but non-descript. And unfortunately, very jealous of how popular was Greg. The nurse that helped the doctor when Greg was found had always had a crush on Greg even after he married so she never married. The Hunter had a crush on her. She was always nice to him, but never had an interest in him. His anger boiled up in him for years.

Greg went hunting and the friend saw him get in his truck. He followed him. Greg took his time, so he was able to get ahead of him on the trail and in a moment, he could never explain turned and shot Greg three times. Instantly he regretted it. He was not a bad person, he just had a bad moment. And that is how he was there to take Greg to the hospital. Running down the trail with Greg over his shoulder he had no idea of everyone else in the woods looking for Greg. Paul’s group had fired from a great distance. They had scoped out the area and were timing Greg’s pace and were just about correct and might have hit him if he hadn’t been shot already. They were professionals, yet they needed to know if they hit him, so they could cover their tracks. After they attempted their shots they realized someone else was with Greg, not knowing it was the person that shot him, so their planning was thrown off. They did not look for the Russian agent and made the mistake of not cleaning up fearing they may have been seen. They split up and met back at the hotel, then the one group made the botched attempt to go to the hospital.

Daniel knew of the nurse. Everyone did. She lived for Greg and Greg was never interested in her. Just one of those things. He was dumbfounded to find out the hunter had such a crush on the nurse. The huner never told anyone. He wasn’t married, yet Daniel never really knew him as an adult so never thought much of him. He understood now, that the nurse would live unrequited love and so would this friend.

Sheriff Daniel played Judge and Jury and told him to leave town and to never come back. He didn’t threaten this, he suggested it. It is better for all involved if he would start a new life even though in his fifties like them all, somewhere else. He agreed and went home to pack. He left town within the week. The nurse only briefly thought about him over the years wondering what happened to an old friend, but nothing more.

Jill went to her grave with this one piece of knowledge evading her. She watched the world piece itself back together and knew where all the pieces lay, but never knew that a man had shot and then saved Greg’s life, nor who.

Greg went back to DC and served two more terms. He retired. Sandra was happy, truly happy.

Samuel and Daniel would talk about the hunter on occasion since Daniel had to tell someone what he knew. Other than that life was good in their neck of the woods.

The nurse never married. She died alone never knowing one man did love her. 

One reason why Washington doesn’t get it

We know we are angry at the politicians. And sometimes the reasons can elude us, we just cannot put our fingers on it, but there is something that just isn’t working. Tonight, I want to share a small example of something most of you are painfully aware, yet maybe you never voiced it consciously or you realized the problem, but never articulated it in your head.

I do want to say over the last four or five days there have been many thoughts rumbling through my head, yet all forgotten because I haven’t had the time to stop and write. And I do want to finish my story, however, tonight I am just too tired or uninspired; which is crazy because I do know how I want it to end for good or bad.

Again, I hate there has been so much I have wanted to share, but just cannot remember so before I forget this thought.

At some point in the last few months or next few months your employer may give you a raise. And for most people this will be in the 2-5% range. Some will be blessed with something better, yet most will receive some standard raise that really doesn’t reflect your efforts in most cases. And that is your employer because well, they can. And so, you think is it D. C. or my employer that I should be mad? Well your employer some, but for now since this is big picture this is for D.C.

You receive your raise, and wow your backcheck actually went up, but then two months or six months later, here comes the annual enrollment for your benefits. And so, by the time the health insurance, dental insurance, life insurance, health card requirements and what if you wanted to actually add to your 401k or 403b you look down and that increase you had received is now a decrease. And not everyone has full benefit options and yet even they see decreases. How are we to plan to get ahead working for someone when we cannot add to our savings without losing take home pay? And then we still need to pay bills, buy food and clothes, have some semblance of trying to keep up with the Joneses etc so we go and rack up credit card bills even more. Now the tad bit of extra we are adding to our savings and our take home pay is reduced twofold: one in the short term because of less in our check and two in the long run because of higher bills, credit card debt or car loan or loan or if we do not borrow money we are trying to make something else last longer than it was built to withstand so now we have repair bills or end up replacing something and other aspects of our budgets are thrown asunder. So, any small extra in savings is outweighed by day to day costs that ballooned over the amount added, plus any earnings.

The completely clueless leadership in Washington thinks our worlds are going to be made magically better because they come with up a tax plan or better healthcare bill or some other hyperbolic legislation that does nothing for the vast majority of us, but gives them talking points come election time.  And you and I know all this, yet we never put this pen to paper when addressing our elected officials. Yes, I know they are not responsible for how much we earn. That is up to us. What is up to them is how they set the tone for the country. Does the tax plan really do anything for the vast majority of us? Are they putting the cart before the horse, or the horse before the cart? I have said before, maybe we give tax breaks to businesses after they produce for the country. Once wages are raised and benefits are better then they can see their tax decreases. Letting Washington tell us things will be better if you let us do it this way, is our own fault. You know this, and I know this, yet sometimes we need to be reminded of concrete examples of why this isn’t working for us.

So, the next time you hear a politician tell you how their plan is going to benefit you; put pen to paper and see how this works out for you in one year, three years five years etc…. Do you gain? Some of you will, most won’t.  Are you guaranteed raises each year? And does any tax decrease in one year or five years cover the increases to your life? Do you see a plus side to the effect? $20 a week, $40 a week, $100 a week, when do the numbers turn in your favor. And please be realistic, I am not talking about winning the lottery and buying $100,000 cars. I am talking about your situation as it stands, normal promotion opportunities, use average raise amounts over a five-year period, and remember this is not guaranteed, yet you can use it as a framework. Are Washington’s actions benefitting you? Healthcare reform, tax reform, Social Security, Medicare, Medicaid, …when you add it up, are you better off in one year? Five years? My gut feeling is you are not going to like the answer.

We can easily create a monthly budget to afford our lives, it is understanding how public policy affects this budget hopefully will help you realize what I stress repeatedly. We need new leadership in Washington. Anything the Republicans or Democrats will offer you in 2018 or 2020 will not benefit the middle class. I can guarantee it. And as you know the only things certain in life are death, taxes, and now computer hacks. Yet I know nothing coming out of D. C. will benefit the working or middle class.

Look over your lives and realize with better leadership, our lives can become better. We won’t be destroying capitalism by blindly reducing rich people’s tax brackets. We will if we destroy the middle class. If you had confidence that if you invested in yourself life will get better, you would make those decisions. We all know if going back to school would guarantee a better wage, better job, better benefits for your family, most would go back immediately. If you had better training to help achieve that promotion, you are there. It is the same for the big picture. If you had better opportunities created by better public policy, you would vote for those politicians. This isn’t socialism; it is responsible public policy. Education, better health(care), equal opportunity, strong values in our leaders are part of the ingredients that make a society and a country strong. So please, contemplate the basic example above for the last year. Did your life get better just because you received a small or average raise? What are your long-term opportunities if nothing changes in our world? Or are you accepting mediocrity because you feel this is nothing to strive?

You can accept what Washington offers and may never know there could be a difference. I hope not.

And another thought about something that just pissed the heck out of me.

I know I do not have some high flying high touting job. I know what I do many people could do once trained. What I hate is because of preconceptions or misconceptions a person would not think I would work hard or strive to do a good job just because my station in life isn’t the same as theirs.  That alone Is very wrong. Secondly though do not presume I am stupid. And recently someone did. So, to keep this generic, a person with a high education and a title with prestige turned in work that my job is to review. The first time the work was sent to me, there were some mistakes, I sent a request for corrections, I sent it a second time needing the info I requested the first time. Is the work 100% required, in general some of it no and some yes, however, the person I work for does require it so the results need to be addressed.  This person sent back the info for the third time and all they did was change one sentence to make the appearance they changed the whole document. DO THEY THINK I AM STUPID???????? And what is worse they went and screwed up the document worse than it was before… the numbers ended up being almost 20% off from the original calculations. I have no idea where they got their numbers because it made no sense unless they just flat out guessed.

I am older now. I worked hard at one point in my life, did real well, decided to change careers and it ended up horrible. I accept I do not strife to make as much as I did before, yet, I still care about my work and how I work for and with others. I will help you even if you do not ask. I want to have things done well. At my job you can ask me to help and I will, whether you are part of my employer or doing business with my employer. I work with hundreds of people who make much much more than I, some treat you like you are their servant and others like you are a person. I know this is going to happen., what I do not like is being treated like I do not care. That whatever I do is worthless and not worth making the effort to fulfill. This is a societal problem and it goes back a bit to the post I made about people who feel entitled. Again it infuriates me when you hand me inferior work because you do not think my work is important or my efforts are important. I had to rise above the other day. I put the work aside and when I calm down I am going to send a request for the information to be corrected again. I will wait till I calm down enough to ask for it professionally and with some decorum. I do work in a professional environment and my employer requires me to treat all with fairness and equality. (one reason I like working for this person).

So please work hard, care about your work, and yes sometimes you may have to suck it up for the moment, but never let anyone insult your work, your efforts, or you as a person. I eventually will ask for this work again and this person is not going to get what this person needs till the work is completed correctly. So don’t you settle either. Make sure, maybe a bit more calmly than the situation requires, yet make sure others understand your worth at all levels of life. You matter so don’t worry about people who think they matter more than you.

“Those who judge will never understand and those who understand will never judge”

Wilson Kanadi

And after saying the above, one more judgement of others, but please if you make much more than everyone else on the block or think you do, do not come to the table unprepared. Ugh!!!! It is embarrassing for all involved, especially for you, but you have got to be kidding me. Someone is paying you good money to screw up royally?????? Wow  (kinda goes back to the people in DC also)

And finally

“Those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind”

Bernard Baruch then Dr. Suess believe it or not

Respect is more important than our society implies, because at the end of the day, we are all dust and other people’s memories and impressions.