Part Two of the latest story

And for those who don’t know, I write off the top of my head, so the stories evolve depending on how I feel that day. Does it leave holes in my stories comparable to Swiss Cheese, well yeah some of my stories are see through. Overall though I like banging on the keyboard and see what happens. And remember I still haven’t a direction for the protagonist to take, so this may get leave you unsure as to the protagonist’s next steps as I head towards a conclusion. Have fun readers

Part 2

Dave was unique in many ways. He was probably one of the few humans that experienced true upward mobility in decades. He was respected by the artificial intelligence. And he was respected by Mr. Samson and his peers. He also interacted with other people regularly and liked it. He felt an affinity towards others that most humans had lost. While others rushed back to their living quarters to become engulfed in artificial realities of their desires. He looked for people that milled about in public and tried to engage them. Many people were put off by his attempts, but he found enough people from time to time he could strike up a conversation. Most people didn’t know what to talk about except their interactions in the alternate realities, but at least it was a conversation. He had learned over the years people had some depraved fantasies. He wasn’t too thrilled about those, but he listened because well at the very least they weren’t home being debased and it was a conversation.

Dave was born into one of the lower tiers, not lower by being a couple of tiers below Mr. Samson’s level, but lower as close to the bottom dwellers so he was a product of two humans physically mating. He had an unbounded curiosity and discovered how to interact with the artificial intelligence on his level. His ability to communicate was quickly recognized. He loved playing with the other kids and would make up games. The kids at this level did not have much of the alternate reality so they were more open to playing. They also did not have much going for them. He directed the action. And he discovered something most humans didn’t know existed at a very young age. He found books. They were left over from an age past. Many were stashed in old buildings at his level and the level right below and right above. Dave moved about these levels while he grew up. He was one of the few people that had no qualms about going from level to level. Most people were taught (trained) to stay at their level and that nothing was to be gained moving about. Punishment was threatened and maybe years ago dealt out, but by now people were so engulfed in their meager existence that they didn’t realize they could break out. Dave just did it because he found out he could.

The artificial intelligence picked up on him as a young child and watched his development. Over time it found ways to direct him to more and more books they felt would advance him. Their actions worked well. He absorbed the material at an astonishing rate. He began to design games for the artificial intelligence and it noticed he was picking up much more than the few humans that were designing games for the populace. And he didn’t care for the depravity most humans consumed themselves with on a daily basis. He also studied the wars and how they were managed and began to write. This was a complete shock to the artificial intelligence group. He wrote opinions about society. No one read them except the artificial intelligence, in fact no one really read except a few people at the top and one day some of the corporate elite stumbled upon some writing in the system they had never seen before.  It was being published along with some of the games.

The elite had people who discussed society and wrote so they could better manage their businesses and watch out for abnormal behavior in the populace to prevent trouble. The artificial intelligence hid his authorship, but let his writings make it to the elite’s reading materials.  They called the information news, but it was not news in the sense we know it as. It was mostly discussion of managing the world for the elites. Dave’s writings were very broad. He covered the same topics the elite writers produced, but also much more. His work contained detailed descriptions of his environment. Some quickly realized he had been moving from level to level and started to worry he might try to move extensively up. And they were right. As time went on, he found ways to enter new levels both going down and up. Eventually he had covered from the bottom dwellers to the elite level. He had the most comprehensive understanding of the world as it was during this time. Mr. Samson read his material and began to grasp how much Dave had evolved as a human and how much he understood the world.

And for a long time, the artificial intelligence kept his identity secret. Since most people didn’t interact with others no one saw him in his adventures. They few times he interacted he had learned what was important to each level, so he was able to talk to that group as if he was one of them. He learned to scavenge and salvage from the bottom dwellers, so he could dress like each level also. He mixed in well when needed and most of the time though he moved about freely because as you may perceive most people just didn’t pay attention to others. 

Mr. Samson was successful not just because he began at the elite level, he also had capabilities others did not have. He began to work with the artificial intelligence to find who this person was that he read, now on a regular basis. For many years the artificial intelligence feigned ignorance. Mr. Samson knew better but had to work through it’s machinations to find the person named Dave.

To be continued.

A new story and some perspective on last post and other thoughts

I am going to start a new story in this post and as always it will go its own meandering way until completion. A different twist about this story; I haven’t decided what the protagonist is going to do. I have a decision to make about which direction he will head in. I know the premise, the ending, and the setting. I need to work out his direction quickly to move the story along. So, since I post these stories in random installments I must leave open some flexibility to decide. And as always there is a purpose and a point to the story. I promise this will be interesting and if you happened to like “That Damn Lottery Ticket” story you might like this one for completely different reasons. There is more of a message in this story than the lottery ticket story. That was mainly for fun with attempts at how corruption can be a precursor to trouble.  First though a couple of comments.

I know most of the national and local media seems to disagree with me about the Mavericks first round draft pick. Everyone is ecstatic he was chosen. I still believe we should have put our most pressing need first. He may be better than I believe, yet we need a center even if we have to draft a project and develop him. I would have preferred Jackson, but Memphis got him. I read a story that says even with Doncic it is one piece at a time which is my point, we have a super need and that piece should be first. And with the Doncic pick we lost getting another piece next year in the draft since we traded away our first-round pick. (up through #5 protected and if we are that high up sheesh there will be a Mavs fandom rebellion).  Everyone wants to be a scorer so finding someone to share the ball with DSJ is a bit easier than finding a modern center prototype such as Jackson. Well what is done is done and I am not looking forward to free agency. I have looked over a chart someone published of available centers and the pickings are not that exciting. If Cousins didn’t get injured, well that would be different, however, I do not think he would have chosen Dallas anyway.  I will come back to the Mavericks next week. I haven’t seen much on the Stars draft pick, but I will try and do some research and get back to you with the Mavericks update. And it was fun watching the Rangers win some games, still not enough, but fun.

On the National front, I’m just tired of it all. Why is it that people who are supposed to be leaders spend so much energy trying to be popular with their side by coming up with the most demeaning post about the other side? This is not governing. This is madness and extremely sad our leaders have fallen to such lows.  As always, we need new parties to bring us new leadership. The current batch on both sides prefers to posture than lead, govern, and create public policy for the people. The bunch needs to retire.

And now for the story:

Sometime in the somewhat near future:

Mr. Samson sat at the head of the boardroom table chairing the quarterly meeting. He seemed bored to the others. And quite frankly they all needed something new. Their company was one of the largest on the planet. Competition was virtually nil in their industry. Mr. Samson had led them well and consumed all the other companies. Their stock value continued upward with acquisition after acquisition. Yet something was missing. All of them felt it. The reports were read. The numbers were applauded. They sat on top of the world, literally actually. Their corporate boardroom now stood almost a mile above the surface of Earth. All the prominent corporations had buildings that reached this high up.

Each person left the boardroom knowing their individual wealth still reached new heights. Each person knew exactly where they stood in the pecking order. Most were happy, a few still felt like trying to usurp the person ahead of them. Occasionally someone tried, sometimes they were successful, sometimes they weren’t. No one held anything against the person for trying and they only fell a few rungs down the ladder in the pecking order. Everyone’s place in society was now assured at birth. If you were born to the world of the upper echelon, you lived, worked, were educated, at the top. Others lived in the layers as you worked your way back to the surface. Each layer in the buildings and foundations of the buildings separated the next group of people from the top.

Once born into an economic situation, you lived it, breathed it, drank from it. The closer to the top, the better quality of air, food, water, healthcare, education you consumed. At the bottom or the surface no one really knew how bad it was, well except those that lived there. It was where all the trash went, where the scraps of society and humanity collected. The surface was covered in pollution and the people covered in disease.

Mr. Samson knew how bad the surface had become. He observed. He didn’t care, he just kept track. A morbid curiosity on his part at best. He kept track on all the levels. It was about the only thing interesting going on anymore. All his executive peers didn’t have any life. They came to work, managed what was left to manage. The world was on automatic pilot except for a few people. Artificial intelligence did all the work. Vacations were virtual reality of forgotten landscapes of the surface. The higher up in society the more vacation time you achieved. Vacations were living in a fantasy world based on a world no one actually participated. Robots did the work, simulations gave people something to do.

The more stature you had, the more depraved you became until you even became bored with depravity. Wars were fought by soldiers on computer programs. Once a side won a battle, the results were tabulated by computers and an appropriate number of humans from certain lower levels were killed. This was one way the population was controlled, and people kept in check. One day a person could be going to their assigned work, which wasn’t work it was just a title with some prescribed duties they did to achieve their weekly allotment of pay, then poof they would hear about a war. A few weeks later they or their friends would be sent to the war platform and all would be executed. No one fought it, they didn’t have anything else to do, nor did they think any better of it.

Most days everyone below the upper tier had a certain amount of hours they were assigned to work based on formulas created generations ago. Workers near the bottom were required to 40 hours a week, with promises of overtime for more money. The overtime never came because the top tier wasn’t going to pay, and the actual work was done by robots who could work 24/7 365 days a year and were only down for maintenance and repairs. The workers slid into their jobs and performed menial tasks to help the robots. Their work wasn’t really needed, but the upper tier knew they needed to keep the workers somewhat busy and distracted just in case someone might figure out they didn’t like their station. So, they worked, went home and lived in virtual reality dream worlds the rest of the time. The quality of the dream world was way behind what the upper tier had, but they had something. There were no more relationships, marriages, interactions with other people except when they bumped into each other to and fro from work or the occasional moment when they would step out and have drinks or games with a few people that were designated friends and matched coworkers. They had team building activities. No one knew why, they just did something with co workers once a month. It was required. More interactive games were played during these times.

As you went up in society, you had jobs that technically required more education or training. They really didn’t, it was still the same, you sat in a work station for more hours per week, received more pay, yet computers and robots did all the work. They had better virtual reality games and the living quarters were a tad bit better than the ones right below them in the structures. This continued upwards till you reached the top and the likes of Mr. Samson and his peers. Mr. Samson’s group had the newest of everything, their virtual worlds were more involved than could be imagined. They lived in fantasy worlds completely foreign to the rest of humanity.

Humans, from the poorest to the wealthiest were made by robot doctors that removed eggs and sperms from humans while they were in their depraved games completely oblivious to their own existence. The embryos were placed in hospitals till they reached a certain age, then they would appear in their level of status and complete growing up with some schooling and indoctrination into their position in society.

Actually, the true bottom dwellers did not have technology. They still lived a primitive life. There were no virtual games or environments, only the reality of scraping by with what they could find discarded from the levels above. And there was much discarded. Scraps of the processed food piled up everywhere and they feasted on these scraps. Many were very obese and would die of horrible afflictions. The food most of humanity ate was processed. The nutrients necessary for life were incorporated in the food and other pills people ate, but people only saw what was in the past real food, food from the ground, that grew they saw in the virtual reality games and environments. Taste buds were non-existent now. There was no need for them.  The bottom dwellers had taste buds, they even ran across real food on occasion in the remote areas away from the cities. There wasn’t too much land undeveloped anymore. Occasionally a break would appear between the cities that grew to the sky. Strange, but they enjoyed this food and when someone would run across some it was truly fought over, more like the wars of old. They did not enjoy the health of the people above though. The scraps of the processed food were old, and the nutrients had diminished. And the real food was few and far between. Many of the women died in childbirth, impregnated more by rape and prostitution than by relationships. Few children survived so the population of the bottom dwellers never became a problem for people like Mr. Samson to worry about. The artificial intelligence that managed the affairs of the planet also knew of the bottom dwellers and would keep track of the population just to be safe, but it never grew to worrisome levels. One thing to note, the bottom dwellers saw things no one else saw. It did not mean anything to them, but the artificial intelligence managers or people like Mr. Samson never saw it or thought about it. It was a different world looking up at the rest of the world.

Yet in all this structure every now and then a person would be different from the rest. These people did the work, they created new technology with the robots. Most worked with the robots to create the scenarios for the virtual games and realities. Some aspects of culture still came through with these people. They were very few and far between, however, the artificial intelligence valued these people because their creations helped to keep the population as a whole safe, basically meaning distracted so they would not upset the structure, or the tiers people lived. The artificial intelligence that controlled the environment of the planet and did the bidding of people like Mr. Samson could not replicate the creations of these people so they were treated a bit different from the rest of the world. Mr. Samson and his peers made sure though it was only a bit different and they were segregated from everyone else. Many board members did not know they existed, their existence was that segregated.

And very rarely one person would come about that could interact with the artificial intelligence to create new levels of technology to move artificial intelligence forward. And one such person was Dave.

To be continued.

Don Nelson should be fired

The title is the closest to civility I can get right now. Doncic is the player you draft after you get a superstar big. We gave Atlanta a bonus from us and let Memphis get better by picking Jackson. If you move up only one or two spots you get the player with the most upside and better fits your need. Jackson should have been our guy and we gave away another first round pick too.   And worse if Nelson thinks he is bringing Dallas Cousins he is completely out of whack. I am doing my best to keep this civil, but the words in my head are not fit for man nor beast. We won’t get Cousins we lose a draft pick and two teams got better for what????? At best a minor league Manu G.   Doncic is good, but not third round bet the future on it good.    Mediocrity here we stay when in 2-3 years development and picking well we could have had a 5-10 year window of being highly competitive.

Some Dallas Sports comments

Well the World Cup has started and the US is not in it. Not much else playing on in the world of Sports other than Major League Baseball that gather much fanfare in Dallas. And since it is still weeks to the All Star game and the Rangers need a miracle, baseball isn’t dominating the headlines.

And I am coming back to the World Cup a bit at the end of this post.
So where does Dallas stand.

The good news is the NHL and the NBA drafts are next week. Hopefully two of our teams can make dramatic improvement in the draft. Also the rumor mills are producing much more volume than the American steel mills right now.
And interesting to note, the NHL draft is to be held in Dallas. This is the second professional draft here in Dallas area this year. So Dallas gets a bit of tourism dollars for all this madness.

Yet let’s start with the Rangers since they are currently in season so to speak. And that is about all that can be said for now. Honestly I am a casual fan and which I argue is different from a fair weather fan. I have been going to Rangers games off and on since the 70’s and enjoyed them all. I always have an interest and I have my friends that keep me abreast when things are starting to realistically look up. I do not know every detail about them as much as I used to for the Cowboys or now for the Mavericks. It still befuddles me though what happened. Two years ago they were contending and suffering through the Toronto series, actually two years in a row. And since then many small happenings just seem to have brought them down to barely mediocre. They just gave John Daniels a contract extension so someone still believes they have the right management in place. I hope so. Baseball is fun and going to games are fun, but it helps when they have a chance to compete. It is hard to get excited about them in May and June if you do not feel they have a chance though. And their draft completely confuses me since so much goes to minor league teams. My hope now is to hear about the prospects we have and hope they mature quickly. We had some depth in our system at pitcher for a while, yet that seems to have dissipated recently. I need to follow up. Rangers always find hitters, it is pitching that has historically slowed them down. Hopefully a miracle will occur and we can watch baseball in August and September on the edge of our seats and not in the recliner taking naps.

Also I am a casual hockey fan. I have watched the Stars since they game here, even stayed up late to watch them win the Stanley Cup. Okay so it was with one eye open, but we were on the couch watching. For a casual fan though I have been blessed with being able to see many home games over the last couple of years and hearing much discussion from all the fans at the games. My two major observations are a) we need more speed on the ice. The good teams are skating past us throughout the games. Which also leads me to b) and sometimes maybe effort is a problem. I have watched the superior teams come in here and play hard and you can tell something is amiss with the Stars. This is hard to bring up because hockey fans by and large are very loyal to their team. So saying their team isn’t putting the effort when they are winning games doesn’t sit well. Yet, in my opinion the Stars’ best players do not seem to have that hunger to win a championship. They like looking good, they like winning, yet it seems to me something intangible is holding them back a bit. They can draft the speed and better skaters, somehow they need to find some people with grit and hunger. There are a few players that have it, however, one is past his prime. Some of the stars of the Stars don’t seem to be laser focused on winning a championship. Too me you can tell by looking into their eyes, or their demeanor when they play. In any sport you will always find teams or players that have the hunger but not the talent and these teams are where you get your major upsets, but never a championship, but they are fun to watch. You see their efforts though day in and day out. The Stars are missing something and to me it is that hunger and grit. The old phrase getting your hands dirty comes to mind. The Stars like clean hands. And for hockey in general one other observation I have made and it is part of the hockey experience; when two teams play if there is a difference in the quality of the teams in many cases the team that has less talent tends to start more fights. I don’t know if this is just a Dallas thing or what, but when Dallas is the better team the other team starts the fights, when they are playing a top tier team they tend to start fights. Maybe it is just me, but that is a casual observation. I guess it is a strategy to overcome the deficit and hope for an opening from the distractions of fighting. Now sometimes teams or players do not like each other so things get out of hand quickly. The crowds love these situations. I personally prefer the obvious where there are two equal teams battling it out for playoff positioning. Those are the best games.

And for the infamous Dallas Cowboys. I usually have a real good bead on them year in and year out. I know what their chances are and usually lean to the optimistic side of those chances. This year I am a bit lost. Maybe I will get a better handle once pre season starts, yet by now I have some inkling. The main focal point for me, is how good is the offensive line going to be. If the  line comes back strong and we find three quality receivers, they do not have to be star receivers, then I think our offense will be fine. The key is the line. If Zeke has a strong running year then Dak can use his mobility to open up a successful passing game. Again the receivers do not have to be stars, just be good. Notice the use of the plural, we have to have multiple good receivers. If there are no stars then balance is our hope which is where I think we are headed. And we are talking at least three good wide receivers and a good tight end. If not, Zeke may have a bit of a struggle at end of games no matter how good the line is, if teams can focus on him only. And that is a losing proposition even at 100 + yards before the fourth quarter. And what really keeps me confused is how the defense is going to play out. Will the defensive line begin to reach some of the potential they have or will they bust again? And the defensive backs, same question. For some reason, I feel the linebackers will be better this year and that is going to be good. Unfortunately this is just a feeling. Still way too many holes in defense so hopefully training camp and pre season closes those in my mind. I will come back and make my season prediction first of September. The Cowboys are the only team good and bad that I seem to actually step out and put forth a prediction.

Maybe I can make a prediction for the Mavericks this year. I tried last year and was way off. I do not remember if I put it in print. I will be honest, I was overly optimistic. I tend to be this way with the Mavericks for some reason. Hopefully last year will teach me, but no….. Not feeling like a good student right now. Needless to say we are not winning the Championship next year unless half the teams have major injury problems. And I do not wish injuries on any player, in any sport. So, the Mavs are just going to have to continue the rebuilding process. And to that point, and I have told friends to start a go fund me page for my bail, the Mavs better keep the fifth pick and use it on JJJ Mo, or Bagley. No one else. Otherwise I am going over to the Mavs office and punching someone in the nose. Seriously, my wife better get friends over here draft night because anything else will hiss me off. We do not want to take a risk on Porter, no, not at all. There is no comfortable risk. We need players that have the most potential, but players that are going to play. The fact he had leg spasms or spasms in his hip the other day so bad he couldn’t come to his work out or get out of bed. No no no no no no, that is too much risk. Period, want an example, look at Chandler Parsons, now he didn’t have the upside that Porter does, but still too much risk involved based on just that one episode. Those episodes tell. Any GM that thinks he is a first round risk without a year to evaluate play is crazy. Maybe second round let him play and earn a max contract when his rookie contract ends, but not worth a first round pick. Someone will take the risk and I hope he doesn’t have recurring injury problems, but back surgery is just too scary for me. I hope that Mavs stick with one of the three super possibilities in Mo or JJJ or Bagley. Those are three players that can be stars with high upsides, so why take a risk? And back to the rumor mill. The headlines the last couple of days are about Memphis willing to trade the fourth pick if someone takes Chandler. Well if you can get this trade with the balance in favor of yourself (not giving up one of your best 1-3 or 4 players) then by all means do it including the Mavericks. That is a positive risk. As a Mavs fan I love it. Taking two of the three previously mentioned players in picks 4 & 5, wow. So knowing this I doubt Memphis is going to make this trade unless they get a star player back because they are signaling they want to compete now, Probably the only team that might do it is Boston and I do not know their cap space to know if they could absorb Parson’s contract. If it sounds too good to be true it usually is so I do not think the Mavericks will get this trade. Absorbing Parsons hurts us in free agency this year, but having picks 4 & 5 is an astonishing way to rebuild. It pushes our playoff dreams back a year, but it builds realistic championship dreams in a few years. I was enamored with the Fareed and 14 rumor a couple of weeks ago and would even like the Mavs to do that. A realistic rejuvenation player with a second first round pick in itself is still good to me, getting the fourth with fifth pick is Mavs Christmas in June. We get to pretend for a few more days before the real decision of who they pick 5th Thursday comes to fruition. Then the ugliness of Mavs in free agency begins. Lets hope they keep it simple this year and work towards next year with Barnes DSJ and who they pick having a year to gel together so they can go out and get the player that best fits for them in free agency. I do want to add that those three, plus these players that work out this year, Yogi, DFS, Powell, Curry(?), Motley, Doug McD, Matthews (am I missing someone) are a strong core to have, so you are just looking for that missing piece.

Anyway the above madness is just good ramblings on a hot sunny day here in North Texas. I hope all is going well for you.

And finally I have always thought the NCAA’s March madness and the World Cup are the best fan sports experience month there exists. People will say so much about American professional playoffs, yet there is nothing like the fan intensity these months bring out. Even in group play for the World cup each game matters. And for the fans, entire years are made or lost. I would love to know some fans of Iceland right now. Taking Argentina to a tie in a World Cup game must be immensely overwhelming. I didn’t get to see the game so I do not know the details, but I do have friends that are serious Argentina fans and they are unhappy. Some act like Argentina will move on so no big deal,,,,,,yeah right. It matters, just like it matters to fans and alumni of 64 colleges in March. And because it matters so much just watching any of those games or the World Cup is exhilarating. And that is what truly makes sports great.

Cheers

Some comments on a few of the many things going on

Everyone is complaining that LeBron is getting more attention than the Warriors. Probably because people pursue the unknown more. Most people pretty much expected the Warriors to win the NBA Finals. The only question was 4,5 or 6 games. And after game 2 that dropped to 4 or 5. People like to speculate, so where LeBron is going is more fun to read than the Warriors just won. It is the old adage: tell me something I don’t know.

And what is more important to LeBron? Is it money or rings? I think he may have to give up one or the other to have the one he wants most. At this point in his career he needs help. Talent is part of it, but also just as important drive to win. I am not sure many of the Cavaliers were as determined to win as he. I can’t say for sure because I am not them, however, their efforts at times seemed lackluster. I will write again about desire to win a championship more when I do my Dallas Sports update soon.

Just exactly where are we as a county? Trump’s infamous American First attitude was on full failure mode this past weekend. I try to be positive, and yet as a human I fail at that. I want to just do something positive and ignore the anger welling up in me as he throws our country down the swamp. Hard to ignore. So in my attempt to regain a positive attitude and I am reposting the link to write your Senator or Representative. The instructions are easy, you can find who you need and take just five minutes to write Congress.

www.house.gov/representatives/find-your-representative

www.senate.gov/senators/index.htm

Or there are other sites. If you are up to it, please send them an contact email on well what happened at the G-7 summit, net neutrality, the Summit with North Korea, trade in general, the country in general, your favorite ice cream, but let them know how you feel. It is a failure on us as citizens of a Republic not to communicate with the people that affect our lives. There are so many topics and many are important to you. Take the 5-10 minutes to let them know how you feel. I guarantee some of the people that like Trump write regularly. You cannot let them dictate the discussion, nor give Congress the impression that people are happy with what is going on.

If you need a couple of ideas:

If we are to lead the world, we need to move towards the future. If we want new jobs, we need to move to the future. If we want new industries and new opportunity, we need to move to the future. So why not write Congress and let them know how you feel. Trump giving favoritism to the Coal industry is just another way he controls the dialogue. We need to retake our country and push for renewable industry over coal. Write Congress. Even the states that rely on coal need to write. Sooner or later the change has to be made. Get your representative to get development help to rebuild your economy.

Scott Pruitt is the complete embodiment of everything wrong with the Trump administration. Greed, corruption, supporting industry (and industry that hurts) over people, lack of scruples, cronyism, incompetence, the list goes on, so write.

It is one heck of a hot and humid summer here in North Texas. The type of weather that is only survivable on a beach. Just no beaches here. Please get out and enjoy some summer recreation. Be careful. 

Tell me again why I want to invest in bitcoin etc…

The World Cup starts soon. Too bad we are not in it. I know the America First Trump supporters will act like we shouldn’t be in it. Unfortunately for their thinking we need to be active in it since it is one way for the World to come together and enjoy good times.

And since Trump is hating on our neighbors I will say for the World Cup: GO MEXICO. I don’t know how much of a shot they have, but hey I can be a good neighbor and support them.

The operation is over, yet I am not doing what the doctor said and rest so hopefully these stitches will hold out as long as needed. I am starting to worry about myself.

Cheers