Don’t do that

 

I don’t know what it is, men don’t know what it is, and women certainly don’t or they wouldn’t do it.

It seems and it doesn’t matter if it is your Mom, sister, girlfriend, wife and maybe even your daughter sometimes, but if a woman says to a man don’t do that, the man’s brain starts contemplating doing it. Whatever the woman said may have been light years from his brain, yet as soon as she says it, the brain goes hmmmmm.

And it may be something the man knows is not good for him or is ridiculous to even think about, yet as soon as the words are spoken the man is now in a brain lock. He now has to fight the temptation of doing whatever it was that was spoken. Sure many times it is overcome quickly and the man moves on, yet there is that one moment, that one second where the action is now front and center in the man’s thoughts.

And the more inherently rebellious the man is, the more he has to fight the urge. Think about teenage sons, the most rebellious time in a person’s life. And then think about how hard it was when Mom said don’t do that. It was pure hell not to do it. The remainder of the day was spent thinking about what you were going to do next or trying to figure out the consequences of doing it. Common sense is something we should all strive for, yet when a woman says don’t do that, common sense is a battle for a man.

And women never seem to realize that horrible truth staring at them when they say it. Again a man may not have anything resembling that thought in his brain, but now.

So women as a favor to yourself, think before you say. What exactly is your husband doing and why do you feel the need to say don’t do that. Is he really about to walk outdoors naked or is he just walking to the other side of the bed? Did he really just pull out that shirt you hate to wear or was he looking for something? Did he really tell someone that you told him in secret or was he talking to himself. (men do talk to themselves and more so when they get older).

And yes men do crazy things without thinking so yes you do need to keep one eye open around your man 24/7, but don’t jump to conclusions about his next action. You have to make sure you have a full grasp of the situation before you act. Or your worst thought may just come true.

And don’t be surprised when you ask a man what he is thinking and he says nothing. He literally may be not thinking. Or he has gone so far deep into a rabbit hole, he is not sure anymore. And men can go deep into rabbit holes mainly because we think linear. So going down step by step is pretty normal for a man. He isn’t looking peripherally when going down a rabbit hole. He is taking it down one thought at a time. So if he looks pensive and you ask and he says nothing, it may actually mean nothing.

Sure I have had women tell me their thoughts go from one concern to another at a rapid pace. Women comedians will tell you these things, but before you ask your man remember, he may not know or is so far down he just doesn’t want to admit the light at the top of the hole is very dim and he can’t get back out without just forgetting everything. Let it go.  I know women this bothers the heck out of you, but save your sanity and just let it go.

You may want to have a conversation with your man. Sure very valid want, but don’t try when they say nothing. Start a new topic, find something fresh to talk about. Help him get his mind back to the surface by not pushing so you can enjoy speaking with him.

I can’t speak for women because I have no idea how to keep up with their thought process, yet I thought I would share a couple of thoughts so you can avoid a frustrating conversation with the men in your life. Don’t say don’t do it, don’t ask what are you thinking unless you have given him very specific things to think about and now need an answer and be happy when he does pay attention. Positive reinforcement never hurts.

Cheers