It's deeper than we seem to know

I really don't want to comment on a horrific tragedy like the one in Connecticut, but there is some much discussion as to why. In this discussion I just don't see what I think is the full answer. And what is the full answer, that seems to be the problem. We don't know.

So lets break down what we do know and what is being said to try and find where we can actually begin to do something to prevent these types of incidents.

There are many reasons being offered as to what caused this young man to do what he did. Some of the ones I have read about are the obvious such as we need gun control laws, he was mentally ill, or had a personality disorder, we need to do something about our culture of violence, plus other ideas. I haven't read the news since Saturday morning so I am a bit behind. I don't want to either.

I am going to touch on a couple of things here first. Gun control always seem to be the first knee jerk reaction. Granted the average household doesn't need a bunch of semi automatic weapons laying around, but the issues that cause these types of incidents go deeper than outlawing guns. I usually read the posts after the stories and for this story the first day posts were good discussions about causes, no blame of guns. There was also a story that day about a massive stabbing incident in China. The story even mentioned that there were laws controlling the buying of large knives in China. One post I read did make the comment in a righteous tone that control laws don't work. Overall in the posts I read most people were pretty civil in their discussion. Now I did hear a news story about a gun control advocate getting mad because the President or any other politician didn't bring up the need to talk about gun control saying if today is not the day to talk about it then what day is. To me this is politicizing the issue. We have grieving families to worry about for now. Talking about any and all solutions really does need to be for another day. (okay me posting makes me a bit guilty here)

Some people talk about mental issues, or personality disorders. How much this affected this situation is hard to say, but I think everyone would agree that this person at very very deep levels was disturbed about something. We may never know exactly at what level. It is definitely part of the equation though.

Now some people talk about our culture of violence being a part of the problem. I am going to talk about that, but this is just another part of the whole.

In Saturday's Mass the Priest made some good comments. And one of the comments was that we seem to have left God in the back of our society. I am paraphrasing here, he really talked about we leave God in the back like we leave our trash out back in the alley. And yes this is part of the problem, but like the culture of violence being part of the problem, no God in this person's life is not the complete answer here either. And I am not saying God is not important and isn't an integral part of the solution, but rather for us to say God needed to be there, means we have to have a better understanding of what God being there needs to be. Its like the mental illness aspect, one person commented that there must have been something going on for awhile and that negative thoughts starting feeding on negative thoughts to the point where this person had lost all perspective. So saying God needed to be there is correct, but God needed to be there to develop a healthier outlook on life and that is just the beginning. Basically it is how God is in their (and ours) life that is important

Lets back up a bit to help understand how all of the above comes together to help start to find the solution to this horrible problem our society seems to be facing nowadays.


First we have to realize we cannot say we have a unique culture of violence. Yes all the video games and violence in movies and TV exists and is new to the human race. What we have to remember is that violence fills human history. All throughout history mankind has done horrible and unspeakable acts of violence upon itself and actually continues to do so. Look at Syria and all that is being accused of the government. That is just one example and these examples are at all different kinds of levels. We, as humans, walk a very thin line it seems between being civilized and barbarianism. There is cruelty by leaders to their people, war and the continuous development of technology to kill ourselves, there are incidents of mass suicides by cults, even atrocities done in the name of God (which make that even worse) and of course our modern problem of mass killings. And based on the China story this really isn't unique to the United States. And this is where we start.

We have to first realize who we are as humans. We need to constantly learn to improve ourselves and our understanding of who we are and what causes us to be violent, at any and all levels. We need to know why we are fascinated and motivated by violence. Once we understand that this exists, we then can begin to realize why we fail creation and our God. God is our moral compass that we never use. It has been given to us, but we fail to realize that just because we say we believe in God doesn't mean God can help us. We have to understand how God can help us. And I fear we don't. Many people will dismiss this post just because I mentioned God. Yet in all of human history the only time we reach something close to civilized behavior is when we do put God first. Like it or not, God exists. Yet saying this person needed God is a failure to realize how this person needed God. God gives us everything. We fail on learning how to use the gifts.

And in this case what are some of the gifts. There are many. First of course is the science of understanding the human conscious. We actually have many studies about mental illness, depression, personality disorders, and like I mentioned earlier I haven't read anything today so I don't know if there were any known issues. And if there were, that is just a starting point. The second issue is what engagement did the family have with these problems or if unknown why weren't they more aware of a developing problem. And at this point, you can look at society as part of the problem. We, not as United States, but has humans, alienate ourselves too much. This includes alienation with our families. And family is a gift that we don't always use. Many times we disengage with family, friends, and people. We need to learn to recognize developing problems and help each other. We tend to back away from problems. And one of the issues we back away from is mental issues ( all types). Again our society is at fault. We stigmatize these types of problems and then wonder what went wrong in places like Newton.

Another gift is we can learn from our mistakes. And yet we continually ignore what is in front of us. Over and over again people have problems, do horrific things, and we wonder why didn't we see this coming. Another gift put aside.

We have the ability to see a big picture, but in almost every post and the few stories I read, every answer was based on a singular cause. I am sure there are people discussing the whole picture, but in general we always want to make things simplistic. We want to put it into a context that as an individual I can put my arms around it and solve the problem.

So what is the big picture. First we have to admit to ourselves that we aren't as evolved as we think we are. Violence is still on the edge of most of our lives. From the individual having a short burst of rage to widespread atrocities carried out by governments and groups violence is in our daily lives. And if you read my blog regularly you know I think we are under achievers when it comes to education. And I think this lack of developing higher reasoning skills keeps us from stepping above our roots with violence and becoming better people, but this alone is just a step.

The true first step is finding our moral compass. Sounds out of place here, but we have to decide to be better people. This means accepting we are created, created for a higher purpose and start putting that into place. This is the foundation to build on.

Next we learn about ourselves and learn to recognize, admit, and accept some people struggle with dealing with internal demons. And those demons come in many different shapes and sizes from true evil to chemical imbalances. Our brain is so complicated and so intricate. So much goes on inside and we are just scratching the surface. On a side note it amazes me that people will use something as fantastic as our brain to try and talk away God. How can people not see something that functions like our brain is not a fluke? Anyway the internal workings of the brain is still way beyond our comprehension. We have so much to learn that we truly shouldn't be shocked that we don't understand how far into despair this person may have gone. We can work with what we do know to get people to be aware of problems and not be afraid to deal with them. We have got to accept mental illness issues as something that needs to be addressed like we address cancer or other major illnesses.

Next is human interaction. Yes this means family is much more important than we let on. True there are some good families out there, unfortunately though they seem to be in the minority. We need to increase our education on how to be parents, how to interact with each other in a positive manner. Goes a bit back to the culture of violence. We have to stop even casual violence in the home as an accepted way to behave. Serious education here is needed. We revert back to our base behaviors way too much.

So I have touched on a few different topics to try and get people to realize to prevent what happened is going to take much work. We are so far removed from where this person landed inside his head to him thinking about these events to actually doing them. And I will make some infantile attempt to outline going forward.

Put God first, and again it is how we put God in our lives. Many people go to church, but are depressed as hell. It goes back to my right to life argument, teach people that life is precious even if they don't accept God, get them to realize what they have is special. Its a better start than trying to force people to believe something they are fighting against. Second admit we have a violent history, that we need to learn to rise above it (also see step one). We aren't going to take violence away by turning off the TV. We need to educate something better and instill into ourselves more rational behavior and thinking. Third, admit we are clueless when it comes to the workings of the brain. There is so much going on that to even make a statement this person was mentally ill is still elementary or maybe even preschool. And along with that destroy myths about mental illness, improve perceptions, and help people get help. Fourth, do we know each other? Make the family the central part of our lives again. And not just biological family, include friends, neighbors etc. We need to learn how to socialize and engage with each other. Create connections that we share. Think about the sports bar, here people that don't know each other, get along and enjoy each other's company for two hours, then disappear from each other. We should carry the interaction beyond the event. Simplistic example, but think about it for a moment. Just because the game ended doesn't mean we ended as people.

Also give up the concept we can legislate these types of problems away. This person was going to do something, sure guns made the carnage much more than it might have been, but he was going to do something. Gun control laws in this conversation are sorely misguided. Honestly I am not a fan of guns, but trying to dominate the political landscape because of these types of incidents is missing the boat on the real problem here. If you go back in history you find many instances of horrible atrocities that have nothing to do with a gun. There is always some way to do damage to each other. Remember for good or bad our brain can think up a whole bunch of stuff.

And even the paragraphs above are still simplistic answers to the problem we face. Once we learn how ineffective we are, then we might start finding the answers to truly prevent these monstrous events. Until then we are searching on a dark planet for a light switch that doesn't exist.



And to the many families grieving in Connecticut and around the world, I pray that you find the strength to move forward, for now grieve, get it out so anger doesn't consume you. There is nothing I can say to make you feel better. I know that. I just want you to know that I agree it wasn't fair, you shouldn't have lost your loved one, however, you need to go forward, get help if you need it, and don't be afraid to look to God to find answers, even if that doesn't makes sense to you right now.