Somewhere overlooking the Pacific Ocean
It happens, it happens to parents everywhere. Sooner or later all your kids are gone and you are left wondering what happened. So it is the end of one time and the beginning of another time. And yet as I sit here typing they are all texting as to something or another.
Yes the better half and I have come back recently from dropping the last one off at college. It causes some reflection.
I have loved having children. There is no better way to enjoy life. I can think of all the wonderful times together. And I could list a thousand at the drop of a hat.
Some people say all is great and you have your grandchildren. And yes this is so and I am looking forward to being a grandparent. Actually we have been grandparents for over a decade now. Our children are many years apart so this is inevitable. There was some crossover. And still it means something different when the last child moves on. Our youngest is at college so in some ways it is not completely over, but in reality the last child has moved on. We moved the child into the dorm room and bought all the extras that are needed. We spent the last weekend at the college going through parent orientation and yet it felt all strange. There is no one to tell you how to feel. There is no one to put into words all the mixed emotions you are feeling. It just happens. And then the last day of the trip happens and you get in the car and drive back home. The child starts school and begins a new life. And you wonder how will your new life begin now that this one has ended.
We spent time at the beach, yet this time it was just the two of us. Our child was going through the orientation for students, meeting new friends, adapting to the roommate, and settling in. Our days were left with finding things to do for ourselves. We got lost a couple of times, we spent afternoons at a beach, we took hundreds of pictures of all sorts of craziness, we commented and critiqued everything, yet when all is said and done we are ourselves.
There will be no more getting up at 7 on a Saturday for some sort of competition or child being sick at midnight or a sprain ankle two hundred miles from home or any of a multitude of things that happen when you have a household full of children underneath your feet. We have lived as paupers and as royalty and I mean that literally and figuratively. We have eaten dinner in a palace and we have eaten dinner for less than $10 as a household of 6. We have enjoyed some of the most amazing moments in amazing places and we have had the craziest of times right in our own living room. I would not change anything.
I have watched my children succeed and have watched things not go so well. One day it is all about one of the children and then the next is about another. And as we celebrate the success of one, we have to give the same amount of attention to the others in that moment. There is a strange equality of having four children that must be met. And as a parent you feel it deep in the night if you have not met the needs of all your children.
My wife and I have always had children. Now the house is empty except for the dog. Some people use pets to replace the feelings of children or supposedly to keep the house full. I do not buy it. The last child has gone and it is different. I miss having children. I miss the yelling and screaming, the laughter, the I didn't do it when something is broken, the banter at the dinner table, the sleepless nights for whatever is happening at the moment, or being surprised at what your children can do at the strangest of times.
I remember one time when we went to Mexico and for some reason we had to travel in two separate groups. I arrived late and one of the kids comes up to me and takes me by my hand and says Dad come here and eat this. I had just arrived and hadn't even gotten my key to one of the rooms, but most everyone else had already eaten at the buffet. I looked down and was staring at an octopus. The whole octopus with eyes and everything. Honestly there was no way I was going to even try to taste it, yet here was a 11 year old child of mine who had tried it and liked it and wanted me to share this experience. Yes folks I wimped out and didn't try it. I had octopus when I was a kid and didn't like the texture, but I couldn't retry it with one of my children. I do not regret it though. The child enjoyed it and that is all that matters to me.
Again there are thousand of moments like this, soccer games, volleyball games, basketball games, football games, mock trial competitions, speech, drama, even library clubs and much more over the years I have experienced. I have coached many of the sporting events at the younger ages and watched at the high school level and all the time watching them play or compete with both admiration and joy. We have traveled a good part of the United States. We have seen fireworks on the fourth in Washington D.C. and fireworks on the border with Mexico. I have survived huge tantrums thrown in public and hours of complete silence sitting side by side either in the living room or on a beach. One child called the waves on the beach the water with bumps the first time they had gone. Another is there now celebrating Labor day before classes start up again tomorrow.
The better half is delivering a special food treat to some of our children we brought home from our trip. Over the years you just have those things that mean everything to the whole family no matter how simple.
So if you ever wonder why I get so crazy about the future of our country or what is going on in this world you might now get a feeling as to why. I want wonderful things to happen. I feel strongly that great things can happen yet I know it takes much for us to get there. Yet not trying to have the best world possible for my children and grandchildren is unthinkable.
And now we see what the future may hold for the two of us. I sit here thinking why the old Beatles (John Lennon) tune " two of us" wasn't our theme song on the road back home. It just came into my head as we drove up to our front door
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a couple of side notes that have nothing to do with nothing:
I am tired of people selling Christian trinkets. Yes I understand there are somethings people want, but just going to a store and seeing a bunch of items that really have no true religious value drives me crazy. Or the inordinate amount of self help books saying they are based on Christian values is just bonkers to me. This will upset some members of my family yet there are some items and some stores that make me want to scream. I thoroughly understand why Jesus got so upset and threw the money changers out of the Temple. Some things no matter what label you put on them have nothing to do with God. Again you can have certain items and I understand, but the enormity of junk out there is driving me crazy. And yes if you knew exactly which religion I subscribe to, you would even laugh more.
California drivers are insane. Yes I said insane. And what moronic legislator let motorcycles drive down the middle of lanes. Sorry folks, you may say I am old fashioned, or a hater or whatever, but how many cyclists have died over the years cutting between traffic and someone didn't see them. I do not know how many times cyclists raced through stalled traffic in just the few days I was there. You can say, well watch out for them, but that is not always possible when you are trying yourself to get somewhere in a hurry and bam out of the blue here comes three or four cyclists racing through traffic and coming on your right when you are looking left. It is crazy.
Did you see the Notre Dame vs Texas game? Wow!!!
I still enjoy reading. Support your local library.
We didn't drive straight home from leaving the last one off at college. There are some pretty intense places in our desert southwest that must be seen to be believed. I enjoyed greatly driving through the desert even though sometimes it felt a bit off balance to be way away from "civilization". Always, always appreciate Mother Nature and also people like T Roosevelt for stepping up to the plate and creating the desire and appreciation of our National Park Program.
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Happy Labor Day. In our crazy times, we seem to have forgotten why we have Labor Day. Some people who call themselves capitalists will say this is a communist holiday. It is not. Just like our fallen soldiers who gave all in defense of our country there have been people who have died sometimes for no reason to give us, the the average Joe, a respectable life. Let us not forget that this country was built and built by the work of men and women, not carved out of some algorithmic trading program on Wall Street or company's board room. I hope you got to enjoy the day, but always remember there is a history to our country that we cannot ever forget.
And again please read.
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