There is that word “sorry”

Oops it has been too long, finally got back the better computer to write on. The laptop always looked like it posted to the blog, but then I found out, by going back and eventually reading it that the post was a serious mess to read. Anyway, getting back into the swing of things again.

And since I have made posts about, we should have election reform where the election season is in the year of the election, I am going to minimize my political posts or election comments till next year. I would say I wouldn’t post any, but yeah, we know that won’t happen.

And what is it with the word sorry and why am I writing about it. I don’t know, but I have been thinking about it for awhile and to me the word is misused on way too many levels. I am going to talk about a couple of them.

Women and especially young women use the word sorry way too much. It seems like they cannot do anything without apologizing for something. So, I have a piece of advice for them. Find other words to match the scenario. The easiest choice is saying excuse me. The only time you may need to say I’m sorry is if you step on my foot by accident or something. If you step on it on purpose well then you may have to face the consequences of your actions, but on accident that is a simple sorry. Otherwise, pardon me or excuse me if you accidentally cut in front of me or whatever.

Or they say it without having done anything wrong. If something is out of your control, you do not have to apologize. You can acknowledge it. You might say that was wrong or I cannot believe that person did that or what fits the circumstances, but do not apologize because some other person screwed up. It is not on you. And if you think that is a polite thing to do, then so be it, but do not feel you must. 

Or even if you make a mistake in a work project or something, own up to the mistake. Try saying I could have done better or make a joke about it and hold yourself accountable, but do not say the word sorry for every little thing.

And then there is the flip side of the use of the word sorry where someone says it to basically get away with an inappropriate action like saying the word makes it all better. And this is a society problem. Too many times you see kids do something intentional to harm someone or get the better someone or get their way with something and the parent says tell so and so your sorry. And that is the only consequence the child faces. You know good and well that child did whatever on purpose and the parent says: “tell them you are sorry”. That child is growing up with some misguided ideas about how to act in public and with others.

I see it all the time and if you pay attention you will, too. Parents won’t hold their children accountable for their actions except for some trite acknowledgment of the other person and kids grow up to be adults and are utter screw ups, care not for others, and are just about impossible to hold accountable for anything. This includes work, social interactions, general lack of respect for rules, etc…. And this is not a rich person or poor person or this person or that person behavior, it is a lack of parenting behavior or parents who couldn’t handle their children or were just too lazy to deal with their children.

I am sitting here wondering as I type this if the women I spoke of above, were the sisters of the children who abuse the word sorry with no actual remorse about their actions and are making up for their siblings. Who knows, yet I doubt it. Overuse of the word sorry isn’t curing using the word sorry to get away with all sorts of minor insults to heinous acts.

So, I ask of you, if someone is abusive or rude or just downright ugly and uses the word sorry as if to act like they were remorseful or feeling accountable, hold them accountable. If you must get help, get help. Way too much we let these people as adults continue their pathetic behavior because it takes effort, and someone is going to get mad. And these people are always the first to point blame at others, so point it right back at them. I saw this, I observed that, and let them hear it. This is a huge problem for people in work environments because these types of people end up costing others either more work, more time, bad feelings about their employment, productivity, and more. Managers sometimes are as bad as the parents in the first place so if you see them struggle manage it up. This behavior wears on too many people, but we do not feel empowered enough to address it. We need to stand up or as the phrase goes “man up”.  

If you make this effort, you will need to have your facts straight and there will be people who say they will back you up but become eerily silent when you do stand up. So, make sure you do have all your facts, keep notes, do it when you can remain calm and not in the heat of the moment, but do not allow these people to bully the workplace or school or what social group you are in. It is hard, but your life will be more enjoyable when you get these people either out of your life or hopefully, they are still within reason and they become better persons.

I have done this too many times in my life so it drives me crazy every time I see this behavior, but when it hits home you cannot ignore it.  

Nothing wrong with telling it like it is and nothing wrong with saying you are sorry when it is appropriate and you mean it.

And there will be more commentary on the Cowboys as we get closer to the regular season, yet for now I say Jerry Jones drives me to drink.

Cheers