Thoughts and questions on reading and on reading and writing

 

Too many people are afraid to talk about their struggles and for many there are serious troubles. For me today though it is more of something I do not understand.

I cannot say I do not have reading comprehension, yet I struggle with reading. I can read a story and generally understand the gist and even some of the meanings involved. And yet I miss so much also and I do not know why. I am not a genius, yet somewhat have some mental capacity so my struggles with understanding what I read has bothered me my whole life.

I struggle with non fiction and fiction. I use to think fiction wasn’t a problem, or maybe it is just old age now, but honestly when people talk about literature I realize I missed something from that story. And it isn’t like I do not get or understand the general story.

I have been working on multiple non fiction projects and one of them is available to follow on Substack. And that one is pretty complicated so I don’t worry so much about how much I miss. The whole purpose is to learn from it, both the book and the process of studying quite more than just the book. I brag to people maybe by saying I have about five books open trying to grasp not just the book, but the whole understanding of where the author is in his writing. The author is well read and has clear understandings of his material. I am just scratching the surface and I don’t mind saying such. It is difficult reading and overwhelming most of the time, yet it is fun for me. Yet my fear is why is it so hard to grasp some of the material.

And the word grasp is not the correct word. Like I mentioned I can read a story and generally understand who are the characters, the plot, even picture described places, but something I cannot put my finger on alludes me in reading a story or non fiction works. Or am I just overthinking it. And I know it is not because I am old because I have struggled with this my whole life.

I see people read something and immediately they can take deep dives into the material. I have to reread just to go back and catch what they discuss. Sure I understand quite a bit of the material, but to watch others just devour reading material amazes me.

And this is irksome because I want to understand it. I recently read three books by C. S. Lewis and not one of them was the Narnia series. I read that years ago and there were times I got lost in the story.  These books I was able to read them at a leisurely pace and sit down with them as I read to think about what was said. I feel pretty confident I understand most to almost all of what he wrote, yet I cannot regurgitate it well, even internally. I can go back and read and say, yes I understood that, but it comes up again in my head, why can’t I discuss it or write about it successfully without struggling.

And this is infuriating because as mentioned I am working on multiple projects that need research. And doing research is difficult for me even though I can pass a test on the material read, I cannot incorporate it into new work with out much effort.

So I am still looking for the right term or word to describe exactly where I am in my reading skills. Again I can comprehend much of the material, but miss too much in my eyes.  I do not remember facts at all, it is almost like a mental block. I have to find the information even though I just read it. I know it is there, but I cannot remember exactly the information.

And then again, I read or consume quite a bit of news. And to brag again, I try to read from many different sources, but over time that has dwindled down to mainly Reuters, AP sourced stories, Forbes, Business Insider, not the Wall Street Journal, but stories I find from that source, something called Raw Story, a few more and still on occasion CNN website.

I used to read more mainstream websites such as CNN, MSN, Fox and others, but they became so partisan that it is impossible to read them regularly. Anyway the gist of this point is I catch the information from news sources better than general reading and I do not understand why. My wife will run across a headline and ask me about it and if I have read the story I can break it down for her quickly and efficiently with no struggle. I can present the arguments the author made and in most cases counter the argument if needed from our view point. There is absolutely no hesitation in addressing these stories. So what gives?

And again if I need to read something to help develop my writing it becomes even more difficult. Again I ask is this a mental block or is there a deeper obstacle I need to overcome.

I am a procrastinator, just ask my wife, she will tell you. Yet I do not think that is what affects my ability to read or comprehend certain material. Procrastination does affect me getting anything done so I ask myself am I rushing to get it done since behind schedule. I am not sure since any schedules or most schedules are of my own creation. I have a few things that are time sensitive, but for most of my reading until I am offered to publish something (hint hint world) there are no deadlines.

And it makes it more confusing for me because I can create a story at the drop of a hat. And once created if I make the effort I can really expand on it with purpose, thoughts or meanings, goals, to make a point and of course actually add some depth. Now I do have to make the effort and that comes back to the procrastination. I have maybe close to twenty short stories and a couple of novels in various stages of completion. A few of the short stories are probably as far along as the one I recently added to my platforms I use for this blog. Some are easily ten thousand words that have been worked on. Will I eventually get to the point where I feel they are completed, who knows? I do think many authors and writers struggle with that though. When is a story done is a question we have to ask ourselves and find the successful answer. It may not be the one we want so as I have written from the beginning; an editor is worth their weight in gold, too bad I have neither. Yet this rings so true. A writer always needs someone to respond to as they march along. Some great ones maybe didn’t, but they are great for a reason. The rest of us can still produce meaningful work with help.

So any thoughts on this two for Tuesday, Taco Tuesday, trash Tuesday or whatever Tuesday phrase floats your boat? I saw another one recently and now for the life of me I cannot remember it. See, there I go again. Something I thought worth remembering now fails to reproduce in my synopsis so I can share with you when I want. This is somewhat of what I am trying to describe as my mental block, not remembering facts that matter even though I know it is out there.

I hope you do not struggle with this madness when trying to do anything in life. The idea of rehashing or rereading the same material a few times just to get something done is frustrating for me so I do not wish it on you in any endeavor, not just reading and writing.

Which leads to my final vent of the day, reading and writing is so important and our society and maybe much of the world does not help develop these skills in young people anymore. I know many will only read at certain levels, but they need to be able to succeed in reading where they can. If I had my way, schools would ditch technology until students are ready to graduate and then maybe have a class or two so they have the technical know how to operate technology. From there they can go on and study it more for a career or something, yet for every day instruction, schools should still rely on books and face to face interactions. And yes I know different people have different learning techniques, so yes be flexible, yet not with relying on technology to do everything. And schools should be allowed to take up phones during the day even if the parents do not like it. Give the kids some self reliance development also.

And as no one does feel free to comment on your feelings about reading and writing. I am curious how the vast majority works through their work.

I do want to say I read so much non fiction of late I found a science fiction novel to read just to relax my brain. It is set on a completely different world, I do find myself able to follow through with what is going on quite well. I may miss some details, yet overall feel pretty good about it. Just don't test me.