Two reasons

There are two times a man speeds. Either when he is trying to get to a girl or when he is trying to get away from a girl. There are two times a woman speeds, oh wait, a woman doesn't need a reason, she just speeds.

There are two reasons a man works. One because he wants something and the other because he wants to get away from something. There are two reasons a woman works, oh wait a woman doesn't have to work because what's his is hers and what's hers is hers.

There are two reasons a man gives flowers. One is because it's Valentine's day and the other because he is in deep shit. And, well a woman just doesn't need a reason to get flowers, they just need to be given.

There are two reasons a woman goes on a diet. One is because her best friend is on a diet, the other is when her worst enemy goes on a diet. A man goes on a diet for two reasons. The first because the fridge is empty and the other because the pantry is empty.

The two places people pray the most are(and this has been said before) a casino and a church. Unfortunately God doesn't hear the prayers in a casino because of all the clanking of coins at the next machine. The two places some people pray the least. One is casinos, mainly because of that clanking sound. The other is church, because well "I am at church, I don't need to pray, it's everyone else that needs to pray, not me".

And for those of you who actually have the day off I hope you have a good President's day. For everyone else, have you bought your mattress or new furniture yet with"x" number of months no interest? And for my readers outside the US you just have to be here to get that one.

Warm spring weekend here in North Texas, I hope spring is headed your way very soon.