Moments in life

Well I hope everyone had a great Mother’s Day. The better half enjoyed hers, along with the daughters who are now Moms. Mother’s Day is actually the end of a few family events so it has been hectic around here this past month. All went well and all is well.

And this bit of life got me to thinking. And strangely about my grandparents. One set of my grandparents were Church of Christ members. There always seemed to be conflict between my Mom and them. My parents divorced when I was very young so my Dad was out of this picture. Long term though they always seemed to want what was best for everyone, just be in complete control. Once my Grandfather passed my Grandmother did lighten up extensively. All this is fine and good, but what I was really thinking about was how they lived in retirement compared to what my generation wants out of retirement. Honestly I do not know how they handled retirement. They came from the generation that worked through the depression so all they knew was work. Times were tough for them, but they got through and eventually retired to (drum roll please) …..Florida….. bet you could have guessed that one.

I do know my Grandfather fished a tad bit, but I do not know otherwise what he did to fill his days. My Grandmother of course spent the day cooking and cleaning and well she cooked and cleaned and cooked and cleaned and you get the picture. We always ate well when they visited. Looking back I am at a loss as to what were his expectations from retirement and well maybe his whole generation’s vision of retirement. Everyone went to Florida and went crazy I think.

My generation is obsessed with what we are going to do in retirement. Some still have the historic protestant work ethic in our bloods so retirement may be difficult, but otherwise I see a whole different set of insanity developing (not considering the Tea party). I still have a few years to go and can hopefully save back some of all the retirement money I lost in the recession. My goal is to travel. And hopefully I will now and in the future.

Overall there is a whole marketing campaign to people my age retiring. Some ad companies are making a fortune off of what they perceive we want. And I am sure they are at least partially right.

The internalization of what went down for my Grandparents is difficult to put my finger on. I wasn’t old enough or it was not important enough to talk to the Grandkids about life. When my Grandfather did spend time with me, it was to show me how to do household chores or tell me why I shouldn’t be a Democrat like my Father. If you said Hubert Humphrey around him, you could trigger a heart attack.

I was trying to link this thinking to now starting to watch my Grandkids grow up. What do I tell them to spur their development in life? As a grandparent, what expectations should I have? Yes, the whole family knows I do not like Democrats or Republicans and they hear more than enough they need to become independent. They take me with a few grains of salt. And actually though they are struggling with party identification and I do not think it is my influence, but they see the same things I see that cause my frustration. They are just seeing it through their lenses. Not sure, but I am thinking this.

Anyway, I always talk about what we need to do to better our country. Sometimes I forget, where should I spend my energies or prioritize my life. If I sit back and wonder about my Grandparents, am I going to leave my grandkids in the same boat? I hope not.

I do have to admit, the better half and I try to create a fun family (it is not perfect by any stretch), but we try to engage them and keep them whole in spirit. This past month has been good and hopefully the kids and the grandkids remember these times and realize that life is to be enjoyed. Yes you have to work hard, but there is more to life than just work. And hopefully one day I can find ways to fill my days that are productive in many ways for myself and my family. And maybe that will lead me to talk to my grandchildren about life and more importantly they will listen and want to talk with me about life also.

Rambling thoughts on a wonderfully cool evening here in North Texas. Much different than the last week here and all the storm destruction. Keep all the families who lost loved ones here and in the Amtrak disaster in your thoughts and prayers.