Back in the day...or...

the way things use to be... or... in my day

Or you have heard some version of people trying to tell you about what it was like a long time ago

And it does mean something to people, I have to be careful because quite frankly I am seriously nostalgic. And I stress the serious aspect of it, I can distract myself at the drop of a hat just thinking about something.  

So I worry what is today’s youth going to be nostalgic about, will they have something to be nostalgic?

For me it can be simple things, like I remember when I could drive on a Saturday afternoon and it was easy, even in Dallas. Now, it feels like all day Saturday is comparable to morning and evening rush hour. It takes thirty minutes sometimes to go somewhere that use to take ten.

My friends and I would spend hours at a lake on the weekend, swimming, hanging out, sometimes not getting home till real late at night. Now I wouldn’t take my kids out on a lake even if we just stayed in a boat, not getting into the water, they seem so dirty and polluted.  We would camp, fish, even camp and fish on the beaches of North and South Padre Island, now we go, but are vigilant to who and what is around us that it makes it harder and harder to enjoy.

My parents and grandparents use to tell me all sorts of their stories, growing up working on the farm and what they did for fun. They were always so shocked at how many toys we had. Now I am so shocked at how many phones, ipads, video games my kids had while growing up.

So, I know things will change, yet again, what will be important to the generation or two behind mine. Shoot I find it interesting to watch my grandkids playing with their toys. At least for now they are young enough that toys are still fun. Maybe things will get a bit simpler.

Everyone makes such a big deal about my generation and our obsession with the concept of family. Yet, for those younger than me, it seems that concept is disappearing for reasons that make no sense to me. I come from a broken family, however, I still find having one very important. I enjoyed the little things to the grand events we did together.

Yet, people at least in the political and media world do not value this same importance. I know there are groups that come out politically and espouse the importance of family, yet, some of their efforts seem hollow to me. Overall we are drifting away from what makes any society a great society.

Primarily people learn their values more from their parents than anywhere else. So when parents do not teach their children values, where do they acquire them? Unfortunately in our society nowhere it seems.

Again I know I am very nostalgic, but I think this is more than wishing for some fairy tale time that the Republican mish mash tries to convince people of that time that existed. No time has ever been perfect, not even the 1950’s that it seems the Republican party is trying to sell us as some perfect world where there were no problems. There were problems, they were brewing under the surface at that time. Yet, we came close to doing something wonderful then. Unfortunately the ugly in our country was not eradicated so we still have racism, hatred, misogyny, ignorance, greed, graft, and so forth.

And if we couldn’t displace the bad when we had a chance, what are our kids suppose to do? We tried, but gave up. The 50’s led to the 60’s then the 70’s and then we became more obsessed with ourselves than our values, our country, our education, our respect for each other etc…

I can remember a time riding a bike around all day all over the neighborhood. I can remember being mad as a third grader when I did not miss a day of school the whole year until the next to last week of school then got the mumps and missed a week. I felt cheated that I didn’t get the perfect attendance certificate. Back then it was important, now who cares. I can remember eating watermelon in the backyard spitting the seed out sometimes at each other as a child then with my kids, yet it is seedless watermelons. (On another note, do we want seedless fruit in our bodies?  And I just bought a seedless watermelon with seeds so thank goodness maybe) We cooked out through the summer months. These are good days. Now I wonder how many children have these simple pleasures?

And more importantly who are children having memories with? Hopefully with their family, yet you see so many families not interacting in one way or another. The really poor just don’t interact at all. The working class cannot it seems since both parents work and many times one parent has two jobs. The middle class, the backbone of any society, is shrinking and faltering. The upper middle class seems to split into two categories, there are the remnants of true family life or their families are so disconnected with any values you end up hearing about the family that has affluenza. This is a term that can be applied much more than the one kid who tried to use it as a defense in a criminal case. Affluenza…..the fact someone came up with this verbiage and everyone caught on right away says much about our society.

And even though I am highly nostalgic, I worry that something is missing in our lives, in our children and grandchildren’s lives. Even though I am against the abuse of using oil, people use to take family drives together. Families would do things as a matter of course. The advertising slogan see the USA in your Chevrolet, led us to believe everything was wonderful, yet at times it was. Like I said, I grew up in a broken family, but we still did things, both with my Mother and Father. I live in Texas so snow is somewhat rare. We visited Dad one Thanksgiving holiday when he was living up north. We bugged him to death to take us to the mountains so we could see and play in real snow. The news was full of stories about the snowstorm that had just come through. He relented and took us out into the country/mountainside. We played for hours. This is a good memory. I hope I gave my kids the same. My worry is, this type of life in America is disappearing.

Politicians talk about family values, yet everything we need to support the family they do not support in legislation. We need families to have enough income to provide the basics and be able to save. And save for multiple goals. Yes, maybe a second job for awhile to save for something special, however, your regular jobs should be enough to support and healthily sustain your family. We need a strong public education system. And one that maybe we accept not  everyone goes to college, but enough through 12th grade that if a person decides to go to trade school or something they still have enough basics, civics, math, science, history, etc they can make rational decisions as an adult and can apply some basic critical thinking tools.

There are politicians that say they are pro-life, but look at the health care for the elderly, or health care in general. Why should this be priced out of the average consumers’ reach? Pro life is treating life with dignity from conception to the grave, not grandstanding for votes at political rallies.

These same politicians say we are losing our values and find people to blame. Yet, where are their actions in Congress and State legislatures when it is time to vote for the family. It is these same politicians that weaken family values by not following through on what is needed, yet convincing millions of Americans they are their only hope.

So I too am nostalgic for some magical time when everything was perfect (supposedly) that would exist if people just did some very basic things. Scary that the most basic concept to teach our children is to treat all with respect seems to have gone by the wayside. Truth be told I know many that live and teach this value, but they are beaten down by some aspects of the the press/media, the politicians, Hollywood, etc...that ignore what is the most important. Where does respect come from? It is learned in your family. And now we have less and less in each generation teaching this to their children. Or at least the visible actions of society suggest this is so.

We, including I, get so mad at our leadership in this country, but to change it we need to start at home. Whether you are the parent or the child, what have you initiated in your family today?

Great changes always start with the first small steps, simple but true. There are no magic to dos, just doing. I am nostalgic for a time that may never have existed in some people’s eyes, but I would hope we can create a better society so our descendents can have wonderful memories of life and be nostalgic about what is wonderful in their lives.