I am not young anymore and I am reminded every time I look
in a mirror and see my old scowling face.
Yet for some reason while walking the dog late last night I felt like I
was looking at the world from young eyes. This caught me completely off guard.
I have to admit this was strange. And I cannot completely
describe what I was feeling. Everything felt the same, my legs hurt, my neck
hurt, I was tired for no reason, you know all that old people stuff, but there
it was for a few moments while walking the world seemed to appear to me fresh.
It was the same path I take every night walking the dog, nothing was different.
It was late so it was dark, so no bright sunshine to cheer me up. For the life
of me I cannot comprehend what caused me to feel this way. And do not get me
wrong I was thoroughly happy to experience whatever I was feeling. It wasn’t
just the optimism of youth, it had a unique freshness to it. There are some
minor hills we have climbed lately in our lives, but we were hoping for them
and they came to fruition, but this felt beyond that.
It didn’t immediately feel like an earth shattering miracle
or major change had happened internally, yet it was powerful all the same, but
a subtle power. I am sitting here trying to figure out if I am still feeling it
while I am typing today. I do not know and I think it goes back to the subtleness
of it all. It wasn’t a bull rush of feeling. It came up suddenly, but it took a
moment to grasp I was feeling it like it permeated me all at once, but my comprehension
was slow to understand it.
And yes I am slow to understand it. I thought about it for
the rest of the night. I am thinking about it today so much that I am trying to
write something down to get a clearer picture and yet to no avail.
It is the most maddening and I fear fleeting feeling. And
maybe I started thinking about it too soon and should have just relished in the
moment. Who knows? A person doesn’t want to have this feeling and lose it. Whether
I am still feeling it or it is just resonating from last night I cannot tell.
And that should give you an ounce of idea of how strong this hit me. And hit me
is not the proper verbiage, the prior idea of it permeating through me is a
better descriptor, but it did hit me in the sense that I wasn’t expecting
anything like it or can comprehend it. Again who knows, yet I hope somehow this
fresh look at the world seeps in deep and stays with me for a long time. I type
that and will still clarify. I do not want you to think it is a fresh outlook
or a youthful feeling, but a lens of seeing the world freshly. And yet that does not do what I am trying to
describe justice. For some reason that I cannot describe well I felt the world
different last night and the closest I can come is a feeling of fresh, youthful
vision, headed for something new, even a tad of calmness, an indescribable outlook
of something emanating from me as I walked. And it is driving me crazy I cannot
put it into words because that might help me to understand it.
For whatever it was or for whatever reason I am glad I felt
it and I hope it happens again or is now buried within me to enjoy as I
continue this journey through life.
Now to going back to my normal old self telling you to get off
my lawn.
Two thoughts on flying:
First if you are on a plane with a hundred or so random
strangers someone is going to hiss you off. It is inevitable. And unless their
attitude needs an air marshal to handle the situation you need to get over
yourself. Yes babies are going to cry, that person next to you or behind you is
going to be a constant chatter box, or you are stuck on the aisle and someone
keeps getting up or whatever happens it isn’t the end of the world. Bring noise
canceling headphones or offer to change seats or just sit quietly and read, but
do not expect it to be perfect. It won’t be perfect and it will be less aggravating
if you go with the flow. Or get in your car and drive.
I was thinking about the issues airlines are having with some
people who do not fit into their average seat. I think they need to give up the
ghost and dedicate two rows of having just two seats on one side. I don’t care so
it can be in the middle or the back of the plane or wherever, but where they
have three seats on each side of the aisle they need to dedicate two rows of
two seats on each side that they allow people to change to if they are 6’5” or
larger or over 250lbs or whatever guidelines they want to make. The gate person
can make changes if anyone comes up to them before boarding, otherwise there
may be some lucky people with a bit more legroom than anyone else if not
claimed. Or yes the flight attendants can move people as needed and people
cannot complain. I know no one will like this thought, but I don’t care. It is
actually the right thing to do no matter how difficult to implement. And if you are able to fit into an average
seat yes you should be glad they do this or do you really want to have someone
stuff themselves into the seat next to you and make you sit against the
opposing side armrest the whole trip. Think about it.
So yes air travel can be a pain in the back end if you so
choose, so better to make the best of it and pray you land safely.
And yes I have flown recently and fortunately none of these
inconveniences happened to me, but I did think about it while sitting there
waiting for the turbulence to stop.
Cheers
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